Would You Like to Have a Happy Marriage?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A

Happy Marriage?

YOU CAN!

HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?

If someone offered you a guaranteed happy marriage for $1,000, would you be willing to pay that much for it? How about $5,000? $10,000? Well the truth is that it’s going to cost you a whole lot more than that. In fact, a really happy marriage is going to cost you everything you have! Is it worth that much to you?

First, you have to surrender your life to Jesus Christ and there is a very important reason why this is a necessity. You see, all of us are born very selfish.¹ We want everything our way. Even when we try hard we still have what the Bible calls an “old nature”² that is just plain self-centered. No marriage can truly be happy when two people are primarily living for themselves.

Jesus Christ came in human flesh and lived the perfect life we could not live.³ Then He died to pay the full penalty for our sins.⁴ If you will sincerely call out to Him,⁵ acknowledging your sinfulness and your need for Him, allowing Him to be your substitute and your Savior, He will come into you with His righteousness⁶ and give you what the Bible calls a “new nature.”⁷ Yes, it’s true and it’s a miracle!

When you allow God into your life like this, you will have the power⁸ to overcome your self-centeredness and truly love unselfishly. When two people do this, it has the makings of a happy marriage…each honestly loving and wanting to do what is best for the other.

HOW COMMITTED ARE YOU?

Are you 100% committed to your marriage or only so far as you think that your needs and feelings are being met? A really happy marriage can only be possible when two people are committed to God first⁹ and then to each other…no matter what!¹⁰ When this commitment is in place, then each can trust the other. The “rat race” of ever trying to be more attractive than someone else, make more money, have more and better things, etc. that make marriage a painful experience, are all gone when there is true commitment and trust. Now you feel secure and you can expend your energy in truly pleasing your loving mate rather than in being sure to protect your own feelings and interests.¹¹

UNDERSTANDING

Do you really understand your partner? Do you want to? If you’re the wife, do you care that your husband had a hard day at work and his first need when he gets home is to relax and have a tasty home cooked meal where love and acceptance are found.¹² If you are the husband, are you aware that your wife has been living her entire day (or should be in a happy marriage) with you in mind? She washed your clothes, cleaned your house, dressed in what you like and fixed her hair to please you. Do you notice? Do you express your appreciation?¹³ Do you understand that she has been caring for the children all day and is tired also but she puts you first?

Do you both understand God’s order for the home? He made you each to fulfill a place in the relationship that when obeyed makes for a compatible union. The husband is to be the provider, protector and guide. The wife is to be the supporter and helper, in-cluding making known her wishes and insights to him so that he can make the best decisions for you both.¹⁴

While marriage is not a master/servant relationship, God has designed the husband to be the head and the wife to be his helper.¹⁵ Reverse the roles or try to make them the same and neither of you will be happy with the results because God made you inside to fulfill the roles He has created for a happy marriage.

COMMUNICATION

Of course a big part of understanding comes from good communication.¹⁶ Make comfortable, undistracted times to just talk with each other. Go on a dinner date and talk about what you appreciate about each other and what you would like to have changed in your home. Too often couples assume the other partner knows or should know what is on their mind but they have never really taken the time to lovingly communicate about these things.

TIME

It seems like we are all pressed for time. There are many things that we just have to do. Is one of them your marriage? Is time with your mate and/or your children always somehow being put off because of something else that needs your attention? Just how important is your marriage compared to all the other things filling your time?¹⁷ In order to have a happy marriage, your are going to have to make time to keep it running as it should. Move your marriage up high on your time priority list!

FINANCES

It has been said that finances and sex are the two subjects about which most marriages have difficulties. Under normal economic circumstances, in order to have a happy marriage, an adequate income is important. If a husband is too lazy (or selfishly spending more than he should on himself) to provide properly for his family, or if he is a workaholic and not spending enough time with his wife and children, you cannot have a happy marriage. Likewise, if the wife is not a careful shopper who lives within the income of her husband, there will not be a happy marriage.¹⁸

SEX

Contrary to what many people may think, sex is not the first place that needs to be corrected in order to have a happy marriage. In fact, it may be the last. You see, when all else is in place, the satisfying sexual part of marriage is a natural outcome of true love, commitment and trust that each has with the other.

If your partner is not interested in sexual relations as often as you are, you might look at the rest of your marriage and see where you are neglecting his or her needs while expecting him or her to accept and desire you in the sexual part of your marriage. The best sexual relationships are enjoyed when each wants to please his or her partner. This is the outcome of wanting to please your mate in all the other areas of the marriage first.¹⁹

GOD WANTS A HAPPY MARRIAGE

God is love!²⁰ God created marriage²¹ and love is what marriage is all about. If you allow Him into your personal life, He will remind you when you need to make changes and He will give you the ability to make them. When you leave God out of your life, you are on your own with your old nature and the world inhibiting your happy marriage!²²

We encourage you to look up the verses below and read what God has to say about your marriage yourself…

1. Ephesians 2:3; Romans 3:10-18; Jeremiah 17:9
2. Ephesians 4:22
3. Hebrews 7:26; Matthew 3:17
4. Isaiah 53:6; John 1:29; 1 Peter 2:24
5. Romans 10:9-13; Luke 18:9-14, 23:40-43
6. 2 Corinthains 5:21; Philippians 3:9
7. Colossians 3:10; 2 Corinthians 5:17
8. Romans 6:14; John 8:34-36, 10:10
9. Matthew 6:33, 22:37-38
10. Genesis 2:24
11. Philippians 2:3; Ephesians 5:33
12. 1 Peter 3:1-6
13. 1 Peter 3:7; Proverbs 25:11
14. Ephesians 5:22-33
15. Genesis 3:16-19; 1 Corinthians 11:3
16. Proverbs 16:21-24; Psalms 133:1
17. Ecclesiastes 3:1-9; Psalms 90:10-12
18. Psalms 39:6-7; 1John 2:15-17; 1 Timothy 6:6-10
19. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5; Ecclesiastes 9:9
20. 1 John 4:8, 16; John 3:16
21. Genesis 2:18-22
22. John 15:5; Philippians 4:13; Matthew 4:4