10 mistakes most people make when praying

Praying is one of the most important privileges and responsibilities of the Christian life. The disciples recognized the peace and comfort Jesus received from his prayers. They also saw the power of his prayers demonstrated in real life every day. Sometimes they were frustrated by their own failures. Therefore, they asked Jesus to teach them how to pray.

Jesus taught them to pray with a beautiful simple effective example prayer in 55 words.

We need to pray like that. But, most of us can’t. We don’t believe God is that accessible. We don’t believe God is that close. We don’t believe God is that attentive. So, we make some of the following mistakes, which impede our prayer life.

Praying in unbelief — The scriptures say it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who comes to God must believe that he exists and he rewards those who seek him (Hebrews 11:6). Throughout Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy, the instruction was given to purify yourself before approaching the altar of God. This is because there is no forgiveness without the shedding of blood (Hebrews 9:22). Our sins separate us from God (Isaiah 59:2). In that condition, our prayers won’t get past the ceiling. But, when we confess our sins to God, we restore our relationship with him (1 John 1:9).

Praying with pride and arrogance — This is the actual sin of Satan, who being the most powerful angel, decided that he could be like God (Isaiah 14). It didn’t end well for him (Ezekiel 28). It won’t end well for you either.

  • God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (James 4:6)
  • God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5)
  • The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. (Psalm 51:17)
  • Though the LORD is on high, He attends to the lowly; but the proud He knows from afar. (Psalm 138:6)
  • He mocks the mockers, but gives grace to the humble. (Proverbs 3:34)
  • For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: “I dwell in a high and holy place, and with the oppressed and humble of spirit, to restore the spirit of the lowly and revive the heart of the contrite. (Isaiah 57:15)
  • We have heard of Moab’s pride, his exceeding pride and conceit, his proud arrogance and haughtiness of heart. (Jeremiah 48:29)
  • Now this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and complacent; they did not help the poor and needy. (Ezekiel 16:49)

Praying my will not thy will — When we forget to ask God for his will in our prayers, we are actually telling God what to do. It’s okay to tell God what we want, but it’s never okay to tell him what to do.

  • Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. (Matthew 6:10)
  • Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.” (Matthew 26:39)
  • A second time He went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cup cannot pass unless I drink it, may Your will be done.” (Matthew 26:42)
  • Has anyone taught God? Who did he take counsel with, and who instructed him, and taught him in the path of justice, and taught him knowledge, and showed him the way of understanding? (Isaiah 40:14)
  • You ask, and don’t receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it for your pleasures. (James 4:3)

Praying in public — We all know somebody who always prays loudly with drama in public. There may be times when this is appropriate, but most of the time we should go into a secret place to pray in private to God. The most powerful public prayer I ever heard was, “Don’t let Satan snatch this seed. Amen!” The most effective prayer I ever heard was, “Forgive me. Amen!”

  • Be careful about doing righteous acts before men, to be seen of them. (Matthew 6:1)
  • “When you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Most certainly, I tell you, they have received their reward. But you, when you pray, enter into your inner room, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. (Matthew 6:5-6)

Praying with repetition — Babbling the same words over and over or repeating the same prayer over and over (1 Kings 18:26). God is not looking for a formula. He wants to be your friend. He wants a relationship with you. He wants you to be real with him.

  • In praying, don’t use vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their much speaking. Therefore don’t be like them, for your Father knows what things you need, before you ask him. (Matthew 6:7-8)

Praying with fancy language — Long, complicated, fancy prayers belong in the prayer closet between you and God. Paul taught the Corinthians to earnestly desire spiritual gifts for the purpose of edification, encouragement, and consolation (1 Corinthians 14). Don’t confuse and confound those who are weak in the faith with jargon and Christianese. If you offend them, it won’t end well for you (Mark 9:42).

In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart –John Bunyan
  • Don’t let your minds be led astray from simplicity and purity (2 Corinthians 11:3)
  • If you speak to people in words they don’t understand, how will they know what you are saying? (1 Corinthians 14:9)
  • Yet in the church I had rather speak five words with my understanding … than ten thousand words in an unknown tongue. (1 Corinthians 14:19)

Adding rituals to prayer — The account of Elijah and the four hundred prophets of Baal (1 Kings 18) would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. It didn’t work and it didn’t end well for them. We can be tempted to go down that same road if we’re not careful.

Praying alone by yourself — We don’t want to pray in public like the Pharisees to be seen, but sometimes we need to seek help and get agreement from others. God has put a premium on fellowship and working together in love. This is most important in prayers of healing and intercession.

  • A brother/sister who sins was to be confronted by the mouth of two or three witnesses. Whatever they bound on earth was bound in heaven. (Matthew 18:15-20)
  • Let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another; and so much the more, as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)
  • Don’t neglect the blessing of the God of all comfort

Praying in doubt — Jesus gently rebuked his disciples over and over for having too little faith. He said if they had faith like a tiny grain of mustard seed, they could move mountains (Luke 13:19). We can fall into that same trap.

  • But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt (James 1:6)
  • You shall call on me, and you shall go and pray to me, and I will listen to you. (Jeremiah 29:12)
  • Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. (Jeremiah 33:3)

Forgetting to pray — When we’re in the midst of a fiery trial, we can get so wrapped up in solving the problem by ourselves that we forget to take our burdens to the Lord. Fortunately, in those awful times, the Holy Spirit in us never quits interceding on our behalf (Romans 8). But, we’re not going to be victorious over circumstances until we quit our own works and let God work for us (Titus 1:16).

  • “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
  • Pray constantly, continually, without ceasing, without stopping. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
  • If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)
  • Solomon’s prayer of dedication of the temple: When anyone prays towards this place, hear from heaven (1 Kings 8:22-53; 2 Chronicles 6:12-42)

Praying out of the will of God — The #1 worst mistake people make in prayers is asking for something they know is out of God’s will. If God has given clear direction in Scripture, just do it, don’t pray for a different answer. Remember, obedience is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22).

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