The Bible teaches how to be a godly husband [updated]

There are lots of self-help books on marriage that describe what a husband should do. Some are good, and some are junk. Some are popular for a while and some burst on the scene with a lot of noise and then disappear just as fast. But, there is one book, which was written thousands of years ago, that has stood the test of time, and still contains the best advice ever written. That book was written from the authority of God by prophets who were carried along by the Holy Spirit (2 Peter 1:21). Let’s read what they said about marriage and how to be a godly husband.

In talking with people about their marriages, I have been gratified by some that are like a little piece of heaven on earth, and I have been appalled by some that are like a little piece of hell on earth. What is the difference? Why are some marriages blessed by faith, hope, and love? Why are other marriages filled with friction, fighting, and feuds about money, sex, work, children, and chores?

If you are living in a good marriage with a godly wife, prepare for the greatest thrill ride of your life, as your marriage takes off to higher levels of happiness, joy, and contentment. If you are living in an awful marriage with an ungodly wife, prepare for a shock because God has promised that you can make a difference all by yourself by implementing these godly principles.

We always thank God for all of you as we remember you in our prayers. In the presence of our God and Father,  we never forget that your faith is active, your love is working hard, and your confidence in our Lord Jesus Christ is enduring.  (1 Thessalonians 1:2-3 GWT)

Dear friends, even though we are talking this way, we really don’t believe it applies to you. We are confident that you are meant for better things, things that come with salvation.  For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers as you still do.  Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance. (Hebrews 6:9-12)

I believe it all depends on the husband because the husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23). Whatever the husband does will affect the marriage more than anything else anyone else can do. If he is a godly man who follows godly examples, the marriage will be blessed. If he is an ungodly man, who follows ungodly examples, the marriage will be cursed. If he falls asleep on the job, the marriage will crash and burn. It all depends on the faithfulness, hopefulness, and loving behavior of the husband (1 Corinthians 13:13). So, let’s read what God says.

Leave your father and mother to cleave unto your wife as one flesh
The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church
Love your wife just as Christ loved the church and gave his life
Treat your wife as holy and pure, by the power of God’s word
Present your wife without spot or wrinkle or any such blemish
Nourish and cherish your wife more than you do yourself
Love your wife and never treat her with harsh angry bitterness
Be considerate and treat your wife with honor as an equal partner
Do not look at another woman with sexual desire
Maintain mutually satisfying sexual relationship
Lead your family to serve the Lord
Provide for the physical and spiritual needs of your family

If this study has made you realize you need to change, I fervently pray that you will allow God to change the way you think (Romans 12:1-2) so you can become the godly husband that Jesus Christ wants you to be. No one is too far gone for his love to reach them (Romans 8).

However, if you cannot make these changes on your own, or you need more guidance, please seek Bible-based counseling from someone with a successful marriage who has demonstrated by their life that they understand how to implement these principles. Your church should be able to recommend couples who can help. If not, find a better church.

I say that flippantly, but not without cause. If your church does not provide the godly Bible-based spiritual food (Ephesians 4:12; 1 Corinthians 3:2) that enables Christians to grow up to maturity (Hebrews 5:12; Hebrews 6:1) so they can help one another (Galatians 6:1; Colossians 3:16; James 5:20), it is a very poor church (1 Corinthians 3:2; Hebrews 5:11).

Featured Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

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