Jesus summed up the golden rule in one thought—probably the most important rule in the world: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact. You want recognition of your true worth. You want a feeling that you are important in your little world. You don’t want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery, but you do crave sincere appreciation. You want your friends and associates to be, as Charles Schwab put it, “hearty in their approbation and lavish in their praise.” All of us want that.
So let’s obey the Golden Rule, and give unto others what we would have others give unto us.
How? When? Where? The answer is: All the time, everywhere.
– Carnegie, Dale (2010-08-24).
How To Win Friends and Influence People (p. 96).
Simon & Schuster, Inc.
What does “as you would have others do unto you” mean?
I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?”
– Carnegie, Dale (2010-08-24).
How To Win Friends and Influence People (p. 30).
Simon & Schuster, Inc.
How can you learn what others like?
Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships. “If there is any one secret of success,” said Henry Ford, “it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
– Carnegie, Dale (2010-08-24).
How To Win Friends and Influence People (p. 35).
Simon & Schuster, Inc.
“People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.” If out of reading this book you get just one thing—an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle—if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.
Carnegie, Dale (2010-08-24).
How To Win Friends and Influence People (p. 42).
Simon & Schuster, Inc.
This is a very important concept. My employer once sent me to a special training costing almost a thousand dollars, which could be boiled down to one sentence: “Other people want to be treated the way they want to be treated, just like you want to be treated the way you want to be treated.” This was a life-changing eye-opening experience. My concept of the ultimate ideal golden rule had been to treat everybody the way I wanted to be treated. Wrong! I don’t want everybody to treat me the way they want to be treated. I want everybody to treat me the way I want to be treated. Why shouldn’t they want the same thing? Does that make sense?